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| Drop in Testosterone |
A dizzying range of aspects can conspire against sexual want as midlife approaches: depression, medicines, illness, career worries, economic pressures, marriage troubles, young kids within the home (or an empty nest), the sense that life is half over … after which there's testosterone.
Commonly we consider of testosterone as a hormone that guys have - in abundance. But testosterone plays a large role in setting the pace for a woman's sex drive too. And each men and women expertise a organic drop in testosterone that may cause libido to ebb in midlife.
Testosterone levels peak in the mid-20s for each men and women. For girls, that have about 1/10 to 1/20 the amount of testosterone that guys have, testosterone levels taper off slowly till they plateau across the age of 45. For males, testosterone levels continue to wane into their 70s.
By the time females reach menopause, their testosterone levels are about half of what they have been in their 20s. Men's testosterone levels decrease by about 1% per year after which drop quicker as they approach older age.
Testosterone treatment for women and men can help restore the hormone to a level that will push the sexual accelerator. But how normally you feel like jumping within the sack is tied to a great number of complicated biological and life style variables, experts say, that it really is crucial to make sure you're treating the suitable issues. In case you have a significant illness or depression, these ought to be addressed separately.
As well as a amount of points can go wrong with testosterone therapy.
"Testosterone use is extremely widespread, but it's misused a good deal," says Dr. Glenn Braunstein, an endocrinologist and chairman from the department of medicine at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Inaccurate diagnoses can result simply simply because blood draws had been performed at the wrong time of day. In males, testosterone levels peak inside the morning and dip within the afternoon, so if physicians depend on a single blood test done inside the afternoon, they may well misdiagnose the supply from the problem, Braunstein says.
Males have a number of solutions for treating low testosterone, like the topical gels Testim and AndroGel. These prescription drugs deliver the hormone from the skin into the bloodstream. Testosterone patches and injections are also obtainable.
The well-known Viagra and its counterparts, however, do not have any impact on libido; rather, they develop erectile function. Obtaining and sustaining an erection demands generation of nitric oxide, which aids in engorgement of blood vessels. But when nitric oxide levels drop too swiftly, the erection is lost. Viagra, which is created only for men, inhibits the breakdown of nitric oxide to keep an erection from waning prematurely.
Patients whose testosterone levels are reduced could not benefit fully from taking Viagra until levels of the crucial hormone are increased, Braunstein says. But in some situations, testosterone might help both libido and erectile function, although it isn't totally clear why that may be so.
"The observation has been that you might not get an sufficient response to Viagra unless of course you add testosterone back," Braunstein says. But, he notes, "we usually do not want males that are otherwise usual in regards to testosterone to run out and get it for the reason that they want a better impact from Viagra."
The Food and Drug Administration has not approved any testosterone treatment options for girls, although a topical gel, referred to as LibiGel, is in advanced clinical trials.
To fill the void, doctors in some cases resort to prescribing off-label remedies for girls, including reduced doses of the gels approved for males, says Sheryl Kingsberg, a clinical psychologist and chief of obstetrics/gynecology behavioral medicine at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland.
But Kingsberg emphasizes that other aspects - for instance exercising, fatigue, sleep deprivation, stress, cardiovascular disease and obesity - can't be overlooked when wanting to restore, or sustain, sex drive. "All of those points completely influence general well being and sexual wellbeing," she says.
The converse is correct as well. Research show that having a healthy sex life can enhance well being and well-being. And for ladies who reach menopause and assume their most effective days are behind them, Kingsberg has two words: No way.
"It's crucial for post-menopausal females to know that the superior of a relationship has been shown to be a a lot much better predictor of sexual health and sexual satisfaction than age and menopausal status," she says.
And one more cause to keep one's libido in superior functioning order: With no it, a relationship can definitely suffer, she says. "Bad sex does way much more to subvert an otherwise great relationship than excellent sex does to promote an average a single.
As you might be reading this post, no less than a single in three women you know are experiencing a loss of interest in sex.
"Loss of libido in women, or low sexual want, could be the most common sexual dilemma for women and also the key reason they seek sex therapy," says Patricia Koch, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Biobehavioral Wellness & Women's Studies at Pennsylvania State University and Adjunct Professor of Human Sexuality at Widener University. "It affects anywhere from 33% to 67% of girls, depending on how sexual desire is defined and reported," according to Koch, whose research specializes in loss of libido in women.
It can happen to men, too - but because it only affects about half as many men as ladies, it is not men's top sex problem. (See Loss of Libido in Men for more on that.) So what exactly does loss of libido mean for girls and why does it happen? WebMD consulted the top experts in the field of sexuality for answers on not only the causes, but the treatments as well.
What Does Loss of Libido Mean?
"Sexual want is one of one of the most difficult to define because it is more psychological than physiological," says Koch, who is also President of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.
Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality, a compendium of survey data on sexual practices in the United States, offers a simple definition: "It is a lack of interest in sex for several months of the past year."
In short, females know it when they don't feel it.
Is Loss of Libido in Girls Normal?
"Don't call loss of libido a disorder," Laumann says. "How can it be a dysfunction if one-third of girls, no matter what their age, report that they lose interest?
"This is normal," he says, and a growing number of researchers concur.
"Low sexual desire is not a disease, it is the understandable result of an imbalance in your life...in your relationship, your life circumstances or your body," writes Kathryn Hall, Ph.D. in Reclaiming Your Sexual Self: How You Can Bring Want Back into Your Life.
Just because loss of libido in females is normal and typical, however, doesn't mean you can't fix it. Many females feel as if they are letting their partners down. They also feel alienated and left out in today's powerfully sexually-charged world where everyone, from the models in lingerie ads to the doctors on TV, seem to think of little else besides sex. It's as if "you're the only 1 who doesn't get the joke," writes Hall.
Even worse, losing interest in sex can mean you miss out on a lot more than simply a single of life's few non-fattening pleasures. It can begin to drain the passion out of the rest of your life, as well.
"I saw this woman [a patient] yesterday - for eight years she had no interest sexually; all she thought about was taking care of her four children and her husband," says Esther Perel, a couples and family therapist in New York City, and author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic as well as the Domestic.
"And then slowly, all the other pleasures went, too. Food. Swimming. Everything about pleasing herself went, one after the other. She was numb," Perel says.
There are things females can do to rekindle wish and bring passion and pleasure back in their lives. But the first step is to understand why you might be losing interest.
Why Does It Happen? The Causes of Loss of Libido in Women
Biology plays a significant role in loss of libido.
For ladies, sex can have serious consequences - a baby to take care of for the next twenty years. Not surprising that females seem hard-wired to approach sex with slightly much less abandon than males.
"It's a control device - pregnancy is a threatening condition for girls - it renders them vulnerable, they can't run from predators," says Laumann. Men can afford to have sex at any moment, Laumann says - it doesn't make them vulnerable. But for ladies it's much riskier, which can cause loss of libido.
Socialization in our culture causes loss of libido in females.
If biology doesn't get you then social standards will.
"We found that the messages ladies get from society about double standards has a big affect on their sexual wish," Koch says. "I work with college females, and even though we have Sex as well as the Cityon TV saying you can be sexual, girls still get the message that it is not OK. Men are looked at as studs if they are sexual, but the women are still called sluts."
The quality of the relationship affects libido.
"For ladies, desire is elicited in the connection in the relationship. If we don't talk and connect, we don't have sex - for men, they connect in the sex," explains Perel.
Koch agrees. For women, "it's not what happens in the bedroom - their need arises when they are interacting with their partner, just touching, talking, when they go on a hike or a picnic, that starts to get them sexually interested," Koch says. If the quality of those intimate but nonsexual contacts aren't being attended to, most females just won't feel "in the mood."
Hormones influence libido.
"Hormonal fluctuations with pregnancy, breast-feeding [resulting in elevated prolactin levels] - and then with perimenopause later in life all can lessen desire," says Eva Ritvo, MD, Chair at the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral medicine at Mount Sinai Medical Center, Florida, and author of The Concise Guide to Marital and Family Treatment.
Vaginal dryness, which can result from declining estrogen levels, can make sex painful and cause loss of libido. Testosterone levels also affect libido in men and females - and for women that hormone often peaks in their mid-20s and declines from there until menopause, when levels drop dramatically.
Medical conditions and medications can cause loss of libido.
Depression as well as the SSRI antidepressants used to treat it can also inhibit wish. So can certain blood-pressure-lowering drugs. Conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids and thyroid disorders can also cause loss of libido in girls.
Changing life stages - and stress - influence libido.
Life changes - especially the birth of a child - can cause a loss of libido in ladies. "Among ladies surveyed in their 20s with a child under five or six - their lack of interest doubled and tripled," Laumann says. "You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out - physical stress and tiredness are big factors." Other life changes, such as losing a job or watching kids leave the nest, can all trigger stress and dampen libido.
10 Tips for Rekindling Sexual Desire
Remember, frequency is not the measure of a healthy sex drive. Your feelings are what count. If you look forward to sex, and feel good about it, before during and after, that is the true measure of libido. Here's how to help make your love life interesting and satisfying again.
Try selfishness to boost libido. "The thing that most inhibits need in ladies is caretaking - taking care of the kids, taking care of the husband," says Perel. "Caretaking makes a woman think about others. But if you can't be selfish - in by far the most positive terms it could be the capacity to be focused on the self in the presence of others - you can't have an orgasm."
Focus on small, private pleasures. For the woman with four kids who came into Perel's office, feeling asexual and numb to all pleasure, Perel did not recommend going on a date with her husband. She suggested that the woman focus on her own simple pleasures. Hire a babysitter and go to a movie, enjoy a fragrant, leisurely bath - to remind herself she deserves to feel pleasure. Start small and build.
Reconnect safely and non-sexually to combat loss of libido.
For many couples, before you can think about improving the sex, it is important to repair the intimate connection. David Schnarch, director of the Marriage and Family Well being Center in Evergreen, CO, and author of Passionate Marriage, recommends the Hug-Until-You-Relax technique. It is simply a long hug, with both partners clothed, lasting 5-to-10 minutes - until you feel relaxed and at peace. This reconnection - "maintaining your sense of self when you might be emotionally and physically close to others," Schnarch says - will be the foundation of passion in a relationship.
Changing the scenery fuels libido in females: Passion feeds on a sense of newness and excitement - boredom would be the enemy. "When things get routine it hurts the libido," says Ritvo. "Get a hotel room, even in your own town, for a night, to spice things up." Or change rooms in the house - who says lovemaking always has to happen in the bedroom?
Try self-stimulation to help loss of libido: "Women who are able to masturbate are more likely to be more satisfied with a partner and experience orgasm more consistently," says Koch. "It is a myth that if females enjoy masturbation, they won't want a partner - it's the reverse. You learn what feels good and you can express that to your partner, and guide your partner," Koch says.
Talk about what you like and want to boost libido: The worst thing you can do, if you have been avoiding sex together, is to stop talking about it as if the challenge will disappear. To keep the distance between you from growing, talk about your willingness to connect. Read sex books together, look at the pictures, laugh - and let your partner know what you'd like him to try with you - next time - to take off any immediate pressure.
Use lubricants to combat loss of libido in girls. Vaginal dryness does not have to get in the way of enjoyment. If you go outside the local pharmacy to a sex shop (see Tip 10), you can find a wide variety of lubricants, in different flavors and aromas. Just shopping for them together can be erotic. Estrogen cream, applied directly into the vagina, can help increase vaginal secretions. Unlike oral estrogens that carry some cancer risks, estrogen creams are considered generally safe. Still, talk with your doctor about whether this treatment might be right for you before trying it.
Stop worrying about how you look...naked and otherwise. "Research shows that women are harsher on evaluating their own bodies than men are," Koch says. "Your partner probably finds you more attractive than you think you might be." So relax and be kinder to yourself - enjoy.
Focus on the whole body to combat loss of libido.
Where sexual satisfaction is concerned, paradoxically, the longer, meandering route can be the shortest path to pleasure. Don't head straight for the genitals - encourage your partner, by example, to tease and take detours. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Continue to take your time even when you shift gears into a more sexual mode. And remember, it is not only your partner's job to turn you on, want should begin with you.
Have realistic expectations to avoid loss of libido. Be realistic in your expectations. Females can take about three times as long (or longer) to reach orgasm as men and, by some estimates, only "26% of women report that they always have orgasms," says Laumann. But even without the Big O, ladies report enjoying the sex and feeling closer to their partner afterwards. So mentally shift gears from Mommy Mode to Sex Goddess Mode. And give yourself permission to try new things - you may surprise yourself. "No absolutes - lingerie, sex toys, pornography - it's what works and is safe and consensual and pleasing to both partners," says Ritvo
As you might be reading this post, no less than a single in three women you know are experiencing a loss of interest in sex.
"Loss of libido in women, or low sexual want, could be the most common sexual dilemma for women and also the key reason they seek sex therapy," says Patricia Koch, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Biobehavioral Wellness & Women's Studies at Pennsylvania State University and Adjunct Professor of Human Sexuality at Widener University. "It affects anywhere from 33% to 67% of girls, depending on how sexual desire is defined and reported," according to Koch, whose research specializes in loss of libido in women.
It can happen to men, too - but because it only affects about half as many men as ladies, it is not men's top sex problem. (See Loss of Libido in Men for more on that.) So what exactly does loss of libido mean for girls and why does it happen? WebMD consulted the top experts in the field of sexuality for answers on not only the causes, but the treatments as well.
What Does Loss of Libido Mean?
"Sexual want is one of one of the most difficult to define because it is more psychological than physiological," says Koch, who is also President of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.
Edward Laumann, lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality, a compendium of survey data on sexual practices in the United States, offers a simple definition: "It is a lack of interest in sex for several months of the past year."
In short, females know it when they don't feel it.
Is Loss of Libido in Girls Normal?
"Don't call loss of libido a disorder," Laumann says. "How can it be a dysfunction if one-third of girls, no matter what their age, report that they lose interest?
"This is normal," he says, and a growing number of researchers concur.
"Low sexual desire is not a disease, it is the understandable result of an imbalance in your life...in your relationship, your life circumstances or your body," writes Kathryn Hall, Ph.D. in Reclaiming Your Sexual Self: How You Can Bring Want Back into Your Life.
Just because loss of libido in females is normal and typical, however, doesn't mean you can't fix it. Many females feel as if they are letting their partners down. They also feel alienated and left out in today's powerfully sexually-charged world where everyone, from the models in lingerie ads to the doctors on TV, seem to think of little else besides sex. It's as if "you're the only 1 who doesn't get the joke," writes Hall.
Even worse, losing interest in sex can mean you miss out on a lot more than simply a single of life's few non-fattening pleasures. It can begin to drain the passion out of the rest of your life, as well.
"I saw this woman [a patient] yesterday - for eight years she had no interest sexually; all she thought about was taking care of her four children and her husband," says Esther Perel, a couples and family therapist in New York City, and author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic as well as the Domestic.
"And then slowly, all the other pleasures went, too. Food. Swimming. Everything about pleasing herself went, one after the other. She was numb," Perel says.
There are things females can do to rekindle wish and bring passion and pleasure back in their lives. But the first step is to understand why you might be losing interest.
Why Does It Happen? The Causes of Loss of Libido in Women
Biology plays a significant role in loss of libido.
For ladies, sex can have serious consequences - a baby to take care of for the next twenty years. Not surprising that females seem hard-wired to approach sex with slightly much less abandon than males.
"It's a control device - pregnancy is a threatening condition for girls - it renders them vulnerable, they can't run from predators," says Laumann. Men can afford to have sex at any moment, Laumann says - it doesn't make them vulnerable. But for ladies it's much riskier, which can cause loss of libido.
Socialization in our culture causes loss of libido in females.
If biology doesn't get you then social standards will.
"We found that the messages ladies get from society about double standards has a big affect on their sexual wish," Koch says. "I work with college females, and even though we have Sex as well as the Cityon TV saying you can be sexual, girls still get the message that it is not OK. Men are looked at as studs if they are sexual, but the women are still called sluts."
The quality of the relationship affects libido.
"For ladies, desire is elicited in the connection in the relationship. If we don't talk and connect, we don't have sex - for men, they connect in the sex," explains Perel.
Koch agrees. For women, "it's not what happens in the bedroom - their need arises when they are interacting with their partner, just touching, talking, when they go on a hike or a picnic, that starts to get them sexually interested," Koch says. If the quality of those intimate but nonsexual contacts aren't being attended to, most females just won't feel "in the mood."
Hormones influence libido.
"Hormonal fluctuations with pregnancy, breast-feeding [resulting in elevated prolactin levels] - and then with perimenopause later in life all can lessen desire," says Eva Ritvo, MD, Chair at the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral medicine at Mount Sinai Medical Center, Florida, and author of The Concise Guide to Marital and Family Treatment.
Vaginal dryness, which can result from declining estrogen levels, can make sex painful and cause loss of libido. Testosterone levels also affect libido in men and females - and for women that hormone often peaks in their mid-20s and declines from there until menopause, when levels drop dramatically.
Medical conditions and medications can cause loss of libido.
Depression as well as the SSRI antidepressants used to treat it can also inhibit wish. So can certain blood-pressure-lowering drugs. Conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids and thyroid disorders can also cause loss of libido in girls.
Changing life stages - and stress - influence libido.
Life changes - especially the birth of a child - can cause a loss of libido in ladies. "Among ladies surveyed in their 20s with a child under five or six - their lack of interest doubled and tripled," Laumann says. "You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out - physical stress and tiredness are big factors." Other life changes, such as losing a job or watching kids leave the nest, can all trigger stress and dampen libido.
10 Tips for Rekindling Sexual Desire
Remember, frequency is not the measure of a healthy sex drive. Your feelings are what count. If you look forward to sex, and feel good about it, before during and after, that is the true measure of libido. Here's how to help make your love life interesting and satisfying again.
Try selfishness to boost libido. "The thing that most inhibits need in ladies is caretaking - taking care of the kids, taking care of the husband," says Perel. "Caretaking makes a woman think about others. But if you can't be selfish - in by far the most positive terms it could be the capacity to be focused on the self in the presence of others - you can't have an orgasm."
Focus on small, private pleasures. For the woman with four kids who came into Perel's office, feeling asexual and numb to all pleasure, Perel did not recommend going on a date with her husband. She suggested that the woman focus on her own simple pleasures. Hire a babysitter and go to a movie, enjoy a fragrant, leisurely bath - to remind herself she deserves to feel pleasure. Start small and build.
Reconnect safely and non-sexually to combat loss of libido.
For many couples, before you can think about improving the sex, it is important to repair the intimate connection. David Schnarch, director of the Marriage and Family Well being Center in Evergreen, CO, and author of Passionate Marriage, recommends the Hug-Until-You-Relax technique. It is simply a long hug, with both partners clothed, lasting 5-to-10 minutes - until you feel relaxed and at peace. This reconnection - "maintaining your sense of self when you might be emotionally and physically close to others," Schnarch says - will be the foundation of passion in a relationship.
Changing the scenery fuels libido in females: Passion feeds on a sense of newness and excitement - boredom would be the enemy. "When things get routine it hurts the libido," says Ritvo. "Get a hotel room, even in your own town, for a night, to spice things up." Or change rooms in the house - who says lovemaking always has to happen in the bedroom?
Try self-stimulation to help loss of libido: "Women who are able to masturbate are more likely to be more satisfied with a partner and experience orgasm more consistently," says Koch. "It is a myth that if females enjoy masturbation, they won't want a partner - it's the reverse. You learn what feels good and you can express that to your partner, and guide your partner," Koch says.
Talk about what you like and want to boost libido: The worst thing you can do, if you have been avoiding sex together, is to stop talking about it as if the challenge will disappear. To keep the distance between you from growing, talk about your willingness to connect. Read sex books together, look at the pictures, laugh - and let your partner know what you'd like him to try with you - next time - to take off any immediate pressure.
Use lubricants to combat loss of libido in girls. Vaginal dryness does not have to get in the way of enjoyment. If you go outside the local pharmacy to a sex shop (see Tip 10), you can find a wide variety of lubricants, in different flavors and aromas. Just shopping for them together can be erotic. Estrogen cream, applied directly into the vagina, can help increase vaginal secretions. Unlike oral estrogens that carry some cancer risks, estrogen creams are considered generally safe. Still, talk with your doctor about whether this treatment might be right for you before trying it.
Stop worrying about how you look...naked and otherwise. "Research shows that women are harsher on evaluating their own bodies than men are," Koch says. "Your partner probably finds you more attractive than you think you might be." So relax and be kinder to yourself - enjoy.
Focus on the whole body to combat loss of libido.
Where sexual satisfaction is concerned, paradoxically, the longer, meandering route can be the shortest path to pleasure. Don't head straight for the genitals - encourage your partner, by example, to tease and take detours. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Continue to take your time even when you shift gears into a more sexual mode. And remember, it is not only your partner's job to turn you on, want should begin with you.
Have realistic expectations to avoid loss of libido. Be realistic in your expectations. Females can take about three times as long (or longer) to reach orgasm as men and, by some estimates, only "26% of women report that they always have orgasms," says Laumann. But even without the Big O, ladies report enjoying the sex and feeling closer to their partner afterwards. So mentally shift gears from Mommy Mode to Sex Goddess Mode. And give yourself permission to try new things - you may surprise yourself. "No absolutes - lingerie, sex toys, pornography - it's what works and is safe and consensual and pleasing to both partners," says Ritvo
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